Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Getting off the Merry-Go-Round

There are many things we ponder in life - some good, some bad....and there are the really difficult heartwrenching turn-your-life upside down decisions that need to be made. Maybe I grew up watching far too many "Father Knows Best", "My Three Sons"...not to mention "The Waltons" and "Little House on the Prairie" (all of these were favorites and I can watch reruns for hours). I grew up with this illusion that marriages start off happy and end up being happy. That families stuck by each other, that parents adored their children and always put them first. That being selfish was just a word that described a toddler. I've only started realizing after 40 plus years of life, that all this was some type of fantasy created in my mind. I'm not saying it doesn't happen because I know it does. I've witnessed the love of 50 years of marriage and ultimate sacrifices for children. What I don't understand are the ones who feel, the vows or words they said at the time of their marriage .... well, were just words on a piece of paper.

I have two friends who are struggling with different situations, but the results are the same. Smart, funny, giving, loving women who have given their all for their families and their homes. Yet in return, one receives a lazy and selfish attitude in return - wife and children are at the bottom of priorities. The other, receives constant lies, disrespect, adultry, and emotional hurt upon her child. When I look at these women, women I've gotten to know quite well over the years, I sit back and for the life of me, can't figure out WHY of all people, its happening to them. Not to mention how pissed I am that these men can't SEE for themselves what great women are in their lives.

At times, I just want to scream "JUMP", get off that Merry-go-round...but then before I do, I hestitate and think "WAIT", maybe the merry-go-round will slow down and you will get the brass ring - just give it a chance - it can happen. I want to be the optimist. Maybe the horses will stop going up and down and just stay still for a while, so they can catch their breath. But in the end, I know that these men will never change. They feel their life (meaning just them) is perfect. Why would they want to change. Everyone else should change. Obviously to them, these wonderful women are not doing their part and their children just aren't getting it. It makes me very sad. I can't figure it out. I guess the best I can do is listen and pray. But I'm praying for the merry-go-round to slow down, just enough for the right decisions for these women are made. Do I think they will be happier without their other half - yes, I honestly do. Is it a scary thought - yes, it is. I can't even imagine being where they are right now, when to stay or when to get off or maybe try to grab the brass ring. All I do know, is that despite all they endure, these women, just keep getting stronger, more devoted to their children and family, dedicated to their work, and are just amazing! These vibrant and deserving ladies and ever devoted mothers, deserve the best that life can offer. I hope whatever ups and downs they endure on this merry-go-round of life, will only bring them closer to happiness and peace. They are a testimony to the strength God gave women.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

What's it all about?

Just had my 30th high school reunion. What the ???? How the heck did it get to be the 30th? Its funny to attend these reunions. Is it because we really want to reconnect with people or is it some form of morbid curiosity - who looks old, who is fat, who isn't married....anything, anything at all to make ourselves feel better. For those that don't come to the reunion - is it because they feel they fit one of those categories? That no one will want to see them or remember them? It's interesting to hear from those that don't want to come. Myself, I've been to all except our 5 year. That was just too soon out of high school. I can honestly say I've enjoyed my reunions. I was quite blessed with being reunited with a few friends that were dear to me growing up and then lost touch. Once we connected at the reunion, we've stayed close ever since. By the 20th reunion, classmates really started changing, you either had young children or almost grown. You had other things going on in your life besides status in school or who was friends with who. You were just glad to see people you recognize and that they knew you. Everyone was open and inviting. People that you thought may never have given you the time of day in school, now act like they've always known you. You will also have moments of memories or something that was special to them. I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't be afraid. Really. There will always be someone who is more bald or fat or scared than you. You deserve to go to at least one reunion in a lifetime. You may be surprised at who you know, who knows you and the friendships you may develop for the rest of your life. Try it, you might like it.