Today, on Thanksgiving, after 6 years, I had to encounter my Out-laws. Out-laws you question? Yes, those would be the in-laws that I don't like or care for. My husbands parents and sister are definitely on the "10 most wanted list" when it comes to being an outlaw. For reasons too difficult to explain nor do I really understand them because my mind does not think in this manner....these people are selfish, self-centered, self-serving...self everything. Truly, I know I have never met such people - all in one family - with such a deep degree of all those things. A tiny bit of background....the sister-out-law is just bad. I could think of worse words but because its Thanksgiving....I won't use them. Her jealously over what others have and she thinks she deserves is her driving force. I will say, there is a small part of me that finds great sadness for her. Their parents divorced when she was just 3....her mother leaving her to go "enjoy life" again. Leaving 2 small children 3 and 8 to be raised by various babysitters while their dad worked long hours at his new business of being self-employed. I guess in today's terms, you would say she has a "detached personality disorder". After dating a boy all their her school years - over 10 years and figuring "he was the one", he dumps her and marries another within just a couple of years. Lucky me for walking into my husband's life shortly before all this happens. Hence, why she hates me and her brothers life. She had done MANY horrible things towards us - simply because she probably had nothing better to do. Fast forward....she had a falling out with her brother 8 years ago and stopped all contact. For that I am forever grateful. Though we have made small attempts to reach out, she has rejected them. SO she hasn't seen my son #1 since he was 3.5 yrs old and never has seen #2 or #3. But because of this arguement, the backlash that occurred also took away both parents. Both parents who are afraid of upsetting said "out-law". Parents who would rather cutoff any contact with their son and grandchilden, just to please the wicked daughter. Doesn't it sound like it should be a "Made-for-TV" movie???
Its now Thanksgiving and we decide after many years to attend a meal at my husbands aunts house. Its quite a distance away and we figured there is no way, the out-laws will show up. But it wasn't too be. But that was good. They did show up. Probably to get a "free" peek at the boys without ever having to make any effort. I call those "freebies". In the past, prior to the split in the family, every family function or possible encounter would twist my stomach into knots, my heart would race and my anxiety level would shoot through the roof. Not good for ones health. You never knew what to expect from them. But today I was assured that it all didn't matter to me anymore. That they couldn't effect me anymore. When saw them walk in...nothing. No nausea, no heart racing....nothing. I decided that if they came to me to speak - fine. But I would make no attempt on my part. Sounds petty I know but I would have to write a novel for your to know the whole story. I knew the sister-out-law would come looking....wanting to make her presence...wanting to provoke me. She walked in attempted to make eye-contact with me (I kept ignoring it)...she finally said "Hi, how's it going". I responded "Hi, just fine". That was the end of our interaction. Whew. She then attempted, stupid that she is, to come over to son #2, and touch him saying "hey you, hey you". Little did she know...I couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment...that son #2 does NOT LIKE to talk or have any interaction with anyone he does not know. If she had tried that with sons #1 or #3...they would have responded or engaged in converation willinging. But not son #2, who was already in a foul mood because he was there and didn't know anyone and was not at his Auntie's house with his cousins. He was stuck like glue to me (even at age 7) and refused to detached his body. So when the out-law chose to poke him and talk to him...there was no response. THEN she had the nerve to say to me "what he doesn't talk"....okay she has never laid eyes on her 2 youngest nephews since they were born, what do you expect? My moment had come. The moment...the very moment I had waited for all these 8 years...the perfect moment and the perfect thing to say. My response was "he doesn't talk to people he doesn't know". She walked away. The moment was over. Done. I thought I would have had more to say after all these years....but this okay. I knew that at that very moment, she didn't matter any more to me.
But my favorite moment was when we were standing in the food line, son #1 was standing in front of the sister-out-law and step-mother-out-law...while they were discussing how they saw sons #2 and #3 but WHERE was son #1? I heard the conversation but said nothing. Shaking my head in disbelief because he was standing right in front of them. Finally they spoke up and asked my husband where son #1 was today....it was a beautiful moment when he said "he is standing righ here". That said it all.
We left the dinner satisfied that we had braved the unknown. Made an appearace despite the unknown. Glad we went to show we had no fear of seeing the out-laws if they were there. Pleased that we realized we had moved on. The out-laws will never change, they will never make any attempts to be in our sons lives - and that is okay. There are so many other people in our sons lives to give them support, love and encouragement. They don't deserve negative energy and complications that these people bring with them. Its sad, yes, but not for our children but for the out-laws. Sad to be so overcome with themselves that being part of such amazing and wonderful little boys lives....isn't worth it to them. But that is how they are - its who they are - we have to repsect and accept that. So onward we march in life. Happy Holidays - we pray that 2011 will be a good new year for us all.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
I'm trying to figure this one out. As we continue, what seems to be a never ending cycle, the backlash of this horrible economy....I can't quite figure out who or how they actually come up with the things that are being cut from budgets. Money for new sidewalks and new condos and offices (which will have a large vacancy)....yet, they do not hesitate to cut spending in schools, county programs and libraries! As our elementary school is now double its size and way WAY over capacity, we still wait for 2 more years until another school is built in the neighborhood to relieve the overcrowding. The overcrowding which has gone on for 5 or 6 years, overcrowding that existed even when the school was renovated, overcrowding that the county knew about long before now....but hey, the new school kept being moved to the back burner while other schools got built and renovated! So how does a school district allow a school with a limit of like 525, reach a capacity of 1,000?? Boggles your mind, doesn't it. What boggles my mind even more is NOW they are trying to close many of our beloved libraries. Who ever heard of such a thing - close a library? It isn't due to a shortage of people or use. Fortunately, there has been a lot of resistance and the closings seem to be on hold for the "moment". However, every summer since son #1 was tiny, I have spent summers at the various libraries in our area attending all the amazing events they offer. In the summer they always have movies based on books, science programs, storytelling....and the list goes on. This summer - well, each library was lucky if they had 5 events going on. Sad. Just sad. AND if that wasn't bad enough - the summer reading program was CANCELED!! How do you cancel a summer reading program? I just thought that was so crazy. No money for extras. Then today, I saw an article that really just said it all in budget cuts....the county rec department is considering REMOVING ALL porta-potties from their parks! Okay, do not I use them, no. Do I let my kids use them....well no. But they must have served a purpose or they never would have put them there in the first place. Most of these parks serve the soccer teams and other events taking place - you need your porta-potties!! So riddle me this Batman...we live in Montgomery County which is rated as one of the best school systems, wealthiest, and top dog in many areas.....yet, we are denied libraries, reading programs, schools and bathrooms? If the economy doesn't take a turn for the better by next summer....I can't imagine what they will take away from us then!
Posted by Rebecca at 12:16 AM
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Just came across this lovely blog with one of my favorite things, Corgis of course! See all these pics of these adorable animals makes me miss my sweet fuzzy creatures. There are many lovely animals to be had, but until you've had a corgi...there is nothing like it! www.christmascorgi.blogspot.com.
Posted by Rebecca at 7:00 PM
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I posted about this wonderful jewelry a year ago but here I go again. Go to www.blackmountainjewelry.com and see the beautiful pieces that can be made to represent a loved one, family - something personal in your life. You can also learn about other wonderful products like this one at www.techsavvymama.com.
Posted by Rebecca at 4:15 AM
Sunday, March 7, 2010
I haven't had many complaints lately, nothing worth mentioning. Mentally, I think I'm still trying to recover from all the snow days even though there isn't any snow in our yard now. Having many weeks home and trapped has put us in a continuing mood of laziness. I can't explain it. We come home - put on pjs. Haven't bothered to pick up or clean up much (the house is suffering!). Been behind on laundry (more so than usual) and cleaning the bathroom has taken a backseat (something you can't do with 3 boys using it). Maybe we just have the winter blahs. The weather has been bad so why bother? We use to be motivated so we could get up and out. Not these days. All I can think about is...how many more days until Spring break when we don't have to bother with school or homework or whether there are clean clothes. I'm also thinking of summer....shorts, tshirts and bathing suits. NO COATS! Life takes a turn to simple when summer arrives. The boys live in their bathing suits like they have been living in their fuzzy pjs this winter. My laundry load goes WAY DOWN! Instead of there being a flurry of snow....there is a flurry of activities outside going on in the area. Living in DC, the nations capitol is a wonderful thing in spring and summer. Have metro will travel. There are so many places to explore, discover, and learn about. I can't wait. Last summer we started exploring museums....so many more to cover this summer. Artists to study and recognize at the Art Gallery, learning American History and seeing it first hand at the American History Museum or Archives, a visit to the Capitol. The bottom line is, if you don't want your house to be a mess or want to cook or clean up - keep the kids out of the house! After being snowed in for so long, I'm ready to pack lunches, grab a metro card and head out. Come on spring, we're ready, willing and able!!
Posted by Rebecca at 4:46 AM
Thursday, January 14, 2010
It's hard to believe that once again, right at or after the Christmas season, we are dealing with another horrible tragedy. As if the tsunami wasn't bad enough but now an earthquake in such a poor country. My heart aches for all those that are there. Despite war and terrorists, when a tragedy such a this happens - it is heartwarming to see so many countries come together in a matter of hours. May all our prayers be heard and that those in Haiti will still hold on to hope and their faith.
Posted by Rebecca at 5:07 PM
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Just being in the moment is such a rare thing these days. Just having the time to chill and actually enjoy it. Today was a wonderful day at church with a renewal of our baptism. We came home and the kids quickly stripped and put on their pjs (a clothing favorite since the snow). Hubbie got a fire going in the fireplace and we've spent the rest of the day playing magnetic legos, junior scrabble and hungry hungry hippo in front of the fire. Even ate lunch there. Needless to say, I keep losing. It does my heart good to have all 3 boys actually wanting to hangout together and with me in the living room, by the fire, playing games and building all afternoon. Just getting back to the simple things. What a wonderful way to start the new year. Blessings.
Posted by Rebecca at 1:10 PM