Again?!

I must be a magnet for parents with bad behavior. Tonight, we decided to eat out at one of our favorite places. It's family night on Thursday so kids eat for really cheap and a clown comes to paint faces and do balloon animals. Our boys love going. So tonight, as it is on many Thursday nights, the second the clown walks in, the children get overly excited and mob the poor clown lady. But she is a trooper and doesn't seem to mind. She gets busy decorating faces and arms, working quite quickly but also maintaining a friendly smile and engaging the children. Now, if you don't want this kind of excitement, just sit back and wait about 15 minutes and let the clown finish her first round of face paintings and all will quiet down. Really, I promise you - it happens. Just give it 15 minutes, then children will disband and all will be quiet again. BUT as we sat there, one overly eager mother with her 2 year old carried her child over the clown. As the other children stood around and did their ooohs and ahhhhhs over the child getting painted, this MOM held her child up, as if he were an offering to the Gods, and said "HEY, there are smaller kids back here waiting to get their face painted too". I couldn't believe it. How rude can one be? The clown, without skipping a beat, looked up and said "yes I know and everyone will get a turn, when its their turn". She then pointed out several children that had been waiting. The woman then picked her kid back up and went back to her seat - she NEVER came back to get her child's face painted, even when no one was waiting anymore. So what was so important? All the children were excited and anxious but willing to wait their turn patiently. Obviously this mom missed that lesson in life. Exactly what lesson was she providing for her child that day? Gee, let's just be obnoxious in front of a bunch of kids and set proper examples on how to be a good human being. Come on people, straighten up - enjoy life a little!

It's only a game!

It truly freaks me out when I see parents with bad behavior, that these people were blessed with children, that they think they can actually be good parents...what were they thinking? Our family went to the Renaissance Festival a week ago. If you have ever gone, you know that its a grand time of costumes, face paintings and silly moments. You have to love it! We had a blast, the boys couldn't get enough. HOWEVER, some parents seem to come with a different agenda - not to have fun, not to bond with their child, not to even enjoy the moment or fact that they are alive. There are lots of games at this event, most of which require that you shoot something, whether a ball or arrow into a tiny (very tiny) hole a distance from where you are standing. The shooting device that you use, is not calibrated or refined - it is a crudely made wooden or metal object that only requires you to pull a string back and let it go. Where your arrow goes or lands is a total mystery. Yet, one father, standing next to us, as my 3 sons are shooting balls ALL OVER the place and we are laughing and cheering each other on, THIS father felt it necessary to snap at his son (probably age 6). When the "maid" on the other side of the game kindly said to the little boy "don't worry, everyone misses, its just a game", the father quips back "not him". He then snatches the bow out of the kids hand and marches off. The "maid" was quite annoyed and said a few choice words under her breath but still rather loudly. I asked her if this happened often? Her very sad and shocking answer was "yes, all the time". She proceeded to tell me how disturbing it was to her to witness this behavior. It's a GAME people!!! A GAME - you know, what you do to have fun and share with others? Doesn't it make you wonder what will happen to these children as they grow - will they suffer depression, mental illness, smokers, alcoholics, eating disorders? Will they grow up to be bullies like their dad? I just find this so very sad. Though I will say, it made me appreciate my day at the festival with the boys even more and just throw myself into enjoying every moment with them. So while I say "shame on you nasty bully dad", I also say "thanks nasty bully day for making me enjoy my day even more - sorry you missed out".

Girl Happy

After having a very rough day with news of my friend's passing, a friend pointed out to me (can't believe I forgot) that today's the 25th anniversary of Elvis' passing. All I have to say is with Elvis and Colin together - heaven is really shaking things up! In their honor - I'm watching "Girl Happy". Seems I missed most of the Elvis marathon, but "Girl Happy" is a favorite! If anyone can bring a smile on a day that has lots of tears, listening to Elvis sing and remembering Colin's incredible humor!

Refocus

Yesterday I was being petty, complaining about ribbons and winnings at the fair. Today life refocused and put into priority. Today I got the email from England that one of my dearest, lifelong and loving friends has passed after a year long struggle of cancer. The loss is enormous,the pain forever deep. Ribbons - what ribbons? I just want Colin back. We met in 1984, on a nude beach (him nude, me not) in Negril, Jamaica. It was a fun filled and forever life changing week. From that week, came over 20 years of friendship and vacations together. I have treasured those vacations with Colin and his amazing wife Jane in my memories as if they were only yesterday. That will never change. Heaven is such a better place now that the funniest, most entertaining guy I've known is there. I now know that I can look forward to my turn for heaven, knowing we will at least be together again. There are no exact words to describe the amazing wit, humor (not always tasteful but it just didn't seem wrong coming from him), driving skills (I would describe it along the lines of "Toad" in the "Wind in the Willows", his love for adventure and always having the time to just be a good friend. Good-bye my sweet, funny, loving, forever friend. The loss of you will change me forever.

What's wrong with me?

I know that life has its up and downs and all arounds...but sometimes I just can't help myself. This week is fair week. Gosh I love fair week. I have great teenage memories with fair week - mostly my girlfriends and I flirting with roadies. Now I look back and go ACK, what was wrong with me...what was I thinking. Toothless, grimy, lack of character excuses for men. Of course, on the other hand, I'm terribly grateful for roadies because without them, there would be no fair rides to enjoy. That just proves that God has a plan for everyone. But there is another element of the fair that I love...barn exhibits. I love to see the artwork, veggies, and sewing projects that people enter for those ribbons. I was never the one to enter anything as a kid. But now that I have children of my own, the second they turned 5, we were standing in line, filling out forms and all those little tags. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you don't, then you have been spared. Then on Mondays when the barns are opened, all us "stage moms" are rushing to see if our darlings have won any ribbons. Then it happens and again I say, what's wrong with me? I get horribly competitve with myself! How crazy can I make myself collecting artwork from the kids, framing it, tagging it, searching through the fair catalog to see what else I can enter. It's crazy. But this year, I snapped. It's terrible. Now along with art exhibits, we are also decorating toilets. You should have seen my living room - imagine 3 toilets lined up, hot glue gun going, craft crap all over the floor! Why the toilet contest - because my husband, who is a plumber, sponsors the contest. Its quite popular and lots of fun. But it becomes an obsession for me, putting in too much time and thought on the winning entry. The boys are great at coming up with titles and picking out items needed to make their creation. Its wonderful to see their creativity bloom and stretching their minds to think beyond the usual. So what's the problem? It's when the judges pick toilets as the winners that ARE NOT nearly as creative or they just don't "get" the idea behind it. This year, the winning toilet truely deserved first place, Wizard of Oz theme "I'm flushing, flushing.." get it? But I'm sorry - the 3rd place toilet had a recycle theme, covered in newspapers and aluminum cans in the toilet. Now HOW does that compare to my son's "Pottyry" toilet? A toilet covered with broken pottery, potters wheel and clay? Son #1 came up with it all on his own....and he places 12th?? I lost it. I did not totally trash part of my house to come in 12th place. I know, you say, well you are bias because it's your son. That's true. But I looked at all the entries, lots of great and creative entries. But come on....12th? I swear I won't enter again next year....but then again, there is always next year! http://www.besthillservicestoiletcontest.blogspot.com

Getting off the Merry-Go-Round

There are many things we ponder in life - some good, some bad....and there are the really difficult heartwrenching turn-your-life upside down decisions that need to be made. Maybe I grew up watching far too many "Father Knows Best", "My Three Sons"...not to mention "The Waltons" and "Little House on the Prairie" (all of these were favorites and I can watch reruns for hours). I grew up with this illusion that marriages start off happy and end up being happy. That families stuck by each other, that parents adored their children and always put them first. That being selfish was just a word that described a toddler. I've only started realizing after 40 plus years of life, that all this was some type of fantasy created in my mind. I'm not saying it doesn't happen because I know it does. I've witnessed the love of 50 years of marriage and ultimate sacrifices for children. What I don't understand are the ones who feel, the vows or words they said at the time of their marriage .... well, were just words on a piece of paper.

I have two friends who are struggling with different situations, but the results are the same. Smart, funny, giving, loving women who have given their all for their families and their homes. Yet in return, one receives a lazy and selfish attitude in return - wife and children are at the bottom of priorities. The other, receives constant lies, disrespect, adultry, and emotional hurt upon her child. When I look at these women, women I've gotten to know quite well over the years, I sit back and for the life of me, can't figure out WHY of all people, its happening to them. Not to mention how pissed I am that these men can't SEE for themselves what great women are in their lives.

At times, I just want to scream "JUMP", get off that Merry-go-round...but then before I do, I hestitate and think "WAIT", maybe the merry-go-round will slow down and you will get the brass ring - just give it a chance - it can happen. I want to be the optimist. Maybe the horses will stop going up and down and just stay still for a while, so they can catch their breath. But in the end, I know that these men will never change. They feel their life (meaning just them) is perfect. Why would they want to change. Everyone else should change. Obviously to them, these wonderful women are not doing their part and their children just aren't getting it. It makes me very sad. I can't figure it out. I guess the best I can do is listen and pray. But I'm praying for the merry-go-round to slow down, just enough for the right decisions for these women are made. Do I think they will be happier without their other half - yes, I honestly do. Is it a scary thought - yes, it is. I can't even imagine being where they are right now, when to stay or when to get off or maybe try to grab the brass ring. All I do know, is that despite all they endure, these women, just keep getting stronger, more devoted to their children and family, dedicated to their work, and are just amazing! These vibrant and deserving ladies and ever devoted mothers, deserve the best that life can offer. I hope whatever ups and downs they endure on this merry-go-round of life, will only bring them closer to happiness and peace. They are a testimony to the strength God gave women.

What's it all about?

Just had my 30th high school reunion. What the ???? How the heck did it get to be the 30th? Its funny to attend these reunions. Is it because we really want to reconnect with people or is it some form of morbid curiosity - who looks old, who is fat, who isn't married....anything, anything at all to make ourselves feel better. For those that don't come to the reunion - is it because they feel they fit one of those categories? That no one will want to see them or remember them? It's interesting to hear from those that don't want to come. Myself, I've been to all except our 5 year. That was just too soon out of high school. I can honestly say I've enjoyed my reunions. I was quite blessed with being reunited with a few friends that were dear to me growing up and then lost touch. Once we connected at the reunion, we've stayed close ever since. By the 20th reunion, classmates really started changing, you either had young children or almost grown. You had other things going on in your life besides status in school or who was friends with who. You were just glad to see people you recognize and that they knew you. Everyone was open and inviting. People that you thought may never have given you the time of day in school, now act like they've always known you. You will also have moments of memories or something that was special to them. I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't be afraid. Really. There will always be someone who is more bald or fat or scared than you. You deserve to go to at least one reunion in a lifetime. You may be surprised at who you know, who knows you and the friendships you may develop for the rest of your life. Try it, you might like it.