5 Minute Rule

The 5 minute rule is my latest note to self. It seems this week I'm on the fast track of being notably insane. So why the 5 minute rule? It's those last few minutes, that in hindsite, if you had just done something different, you would be FAR LESS irritated. Today I discharged my father from the rehab/nursing home where he has been for the last 3 weeks. Packed everything, drove him to pick out new glasses (which had broken and had no backup), then to lunch, then to the grocery store and then back home. A home that while he was away, my sister and I cleaned up, did all the laundry, threw out about 15 bags of trash and 38 phone books (yes, 38!). After 5 hours of being on the best behavior (talking about me that is), I decided to take those last 5 minutes to have a "wrap-up" conversation with my father. Should I have left? YES! But no, I sat there to say, "dad, we'll be checking in and whatever you need, we will go get for you or take you". I think that was a pretty nice thing to say.

Okay, back up a life time and let me just say at this point, my father and I have a VERY STRAINED relationship. He is a very angry, unhappy, arrogant individual. No, it has nothing to do with him being 82 - he has been this way all his life, at least since I have known him. My sister and I do what we feel is the "right" thing to do and care for him the best we can to make sure he has a good quality of life. But it's not easy. Back to the story -

He proceeds to tell me how he will drive - even without his glasses - that he doesn't care what anyone says (which he never does), even though we still have his keys - he has others we don't know about and he will do what he wants. That's an abbreviated version and on a much nicer level than what I dealt with at the moment. So I snapped, which he can make me do so easily - though I was doing so well until that moment. After an exchange of words, I proceed to tell him that we DO CARE that is why we do all this stuff, we never said he couldn't have his keys or drive again, just not until he gets his glasses, the temps are below freezing and for health reasons, best he stay inside. You would think after spending 3 weeks in rehab, which he hated, and they spent alot of time pointed out his weaknesses and where and how he should be most careful, that he would take heed. I mean, why would you willfully do the things they say you shouldn't, risk injuring yourself and end up back in rehab for a REALLY long time????? So the next time you have a chance to keep going - don't stop - don't pass Go - don't collect $200, just remember, those last 5 minutes are the most dangerous - get while the getting is good! I will definitely keep that in the front of mind the next time!